Aug 23 2012

one day Aphrodite took it in mind to get this specific bunch of virgins raped, because they belonged to the worship of one of her siblings who had incensed her irritation. so she went into the forest in search of a likely candidate to commit these crimes, a particular woodsman she had heard of, or perhaps sometimes observed, by the name of John.

she came across him in a dappled thicket chopping wood. appearing before him in all of her radiant glory, she briefly informed him of who she was, before instructing him, now heres what youre going to do –

but John was not dazzled. i dont take orders from a bitch, he sneered, and proceeded to throw her down and violently rape her.

after he had departed, Aphrodite lay for some time in a state of shock, and while the tender animals of the forest ministered gently to her recovery, contemplated what had occurred. it seemed impossible that a common human should restrain a goddess. and yet it had happened; he had overpowered her. had she then allowed it?

before the horns of the moon had grown to their fullness she had whisked John away to olympus, where they were wed in secret. but their situation being quickly discovered, Zeus took pity upon the young man and accepted him as his protégé, endowing him with immortality, eternal youth, and godhood as the sacred embodiment of Lust. the new addition to the pantheon flexed his might by putting his fist through Cupid’s skull; Cupid found it interesting to take his little hand mirror and watch his brains return from his face to their more accustomed location, but he did stay away from John after that.

the happy couple have always enjoyed an unconventional union liberated of the many expectations and restrictions that so oppress mortals, and can be seen keeping merry company to this day – embracing and laughing, handfeeding one another ambrosia, and doing whatever else it is lovers do in the heavens. John is of course necessarily free to pursue the purposes of his own godly existence, and when not absorbing himself in the felicity of this most suitable of alliances, can probably be discovered marauding the dales of arcadia, brutally destroying the burgeoning sexualities and auspicious futures of any defenseless young women (or men) who attract his interest.

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