my life

Jun 18 2012

it became apparent that something was wrong only three weeks after my birth when i began to speak. first of course only syllables but by six months fully formed phrases issued from my throat. i possess no intimate impression of my parents, not because i cant remember them (i remember them well) but because the time i spent with them was so brief that we never came to properly know one another. by my third year i had been removed from their custody to a private institution, and next to claims of psychologists beyond the quality of my intelligence to some unusual complexity of personality, reconnecting with them seemed to become less important. by my teens i had gained understandings of human sciences equal to or surpassing the standards of internationally regarded experts. my body grew strong and tall but remained agile and dextrous, and i mastered a range of physical disciplines agreeable to my circumstances such as ballet, gymnastics, and karate. i learned that i could play almost any musical instrument at performance level indistinguishably to a professional ear from the virtuoso. following these peaceful formative years i traveled abroad persuing work to do with knowledge and security which often involved challenging application of the education i had acquired, providing me with opportunities of consolidation and of even further learning in fields as various as communications and trade. many situations i encountered were uncompromisingly demanding of physical resouces but my body remained an exuberant and resilient partner in my activities. now as my thirtieth year comes to a close, having effectively disappeared to this place of impenetrable solitude, i am contemplating the many things i have known. what seems difficult to me now is the notion of explaining my self. i am uncertain that i can ever be understood by another and with an unfamiliar and unwelcome sentimentality feel myself to be perhaps absolutely unreachably alone. what is to become of me?

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