the troll and the journalists

Sep 07 2012

there was a troll living in the woods, a giant solitary creature enjoying the peace and quiet, and preferring to sleep as much as possible, sometimes for hundreds of years at a time. trolls have saplings for hair, precious stones for eyes, and gold and silver for arteries and veins. some young humans from the paper heard about the troll and came to interview it. they found it asleep and they woke it up by jumping around and making a lot of very irritating noises. it stirred from its rest and shrugged off its bed linen, which was actually a hillside. it was a bit grouchy at first, but it talked to them kindly enough and gave them an interview. their favourite part was when they asked it if it was going to eat them, and it asked them if they wanted it to. then when they had said goodbye and were getting their papers and camera together, it rolled back over in bed and accidentally brought the hillside down on them, crushing them to death. but it never knew what had happened because it was already asleep, and by the time it next awoke to have something to eat, their remains had disintegrated. all of their work was lost forever.

this is not a clever parable about leaving internet trolls alone. it is just a humorous little story, not intended to be taken seriously, about how some make-believe journalists got what they deserved, in a cruel narrative justice sort of way. the kind of way some creative writers take delight in giving cruel and unfeeling endings to their morally imperfect characters, in order to oblige and flatter themselves and their self-righteous readers (make-believe writers and readers, of course).

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